Resolving Conflicts in Relationships (Part 2)
During a conflict, it is good to realize that the energy that you put into the conflict will possibly be the quality of energy that you will receive in return. This is the law of reciprocity (cause and effect). On a subtle level, we radiate according to our attitude, and on a physical level, we radiate according to our behaviour. What we transmit on a subtle or/and physical level will return to us in a similar way; unless the ‘other’ is wiser and decides not to give us back the same negative energy, but rather to treat us in exchange with a positive attitude and pro-active behaviour. That way, that person won't bring about a dependence inside us, but rather they will help us to free ourselves of our own negativity.
Often, conflict between two people happens because we do not get the result in a relationship that we want; we are stuck to getting a specific result and we allow our happiness to depend on getting it. On not getting it, we use a wrong method; we generate a conflict, we feel ourselves to be victims, we blame the other, we project our pain onto them; all of this under the belief that others - the other - is who makes us happy or unhappy. This is a false belief. When your happiness depends on your expectations being fulfilled, it is difficult to be happy in a constant way. Often expectations are disguised desires, and where there are desires there is fear - the fear of not getting what you want. When you don't get it you get unhappy and, in so doing, you keep happiness away from you. It is good to set yourself goals of peaceful relationships, but if they are not fulfilled or if these goals take time to achieve, don't lose your sense of well being. Your happiness is a much more valuable treasure than the external achievement of your expectations and of those that others have of you.
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