Discovering Inner Compassion (Kindness) –Part 3
When we try to describe compassion, it is worth looking at the words sympathy, empathy and interpathy.
Showing sympathy towards another person's suffering is acknowledging their suffering, for example, 'I am sorry that you have hurt yourself'. We recognize that they are injured or ill without really engaging at a feeling level.
Empathy is when we literally share a feeling with someone, we walk in their shoes, for example, 'I feel really upset that you are so depressed about losing your job'. This can bring great comfort to the person we are empathizing with, but the comfort to them can be at our expense and leave us feeling emotionally drained or sad. If we identify too closely with them, it can also make it difficult for us to help them.
An expansion of empathy is a word called interpathy where we relate to another's suffering although we may not understand why they are suffering. This may be because they are from a different culture or because their feelings may seem inappropriate given the situation, but we are curious, we try to understand.
Compassion is all these words — sympathy, empathy, interpathy - yet it is more and it is less. We acknowledge someone’s sorrow, we sense how they feel, we try to understand how it affects them, yet with compassion we do not become emotionally involved. We are engaged yet detached. We are standing back and looking on with kindness. By showing compassion in this way, it allows us to be compassionate without suffering from compassion fatigue or emotional burnout.
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