Taking Responsibility, Overcoming Guilt (cont.)
There is a difference between when we have established our own code of values or beliefs in life, and when we feel obliged (forced) to obey an imposed code of beliefs. It is important for us to accept on an inner level the code by which we think we should be guided and act. When we act out of obligation (compulsion), by following a code of beliefs or behaviors that we feel have been imposed but aren't accepted as our own, we should ask ourselves why we act out of obligation (compulsion), basing ourselves on a code we have not accepted. Are we perhaps afraid that, if we don't do it, we will feel guilty?
When we violate the codes of belonging to a group, family, social class or community, generally we feel guilty. If this guilt leads us to question ourselves about what is right for our conscience, we progress in our personal growth and improve our clarity. It is necessary to respect ourselves, being clear about what the beliefs are on which we base our life, think, feel and evaluate. This will help us to avoid the gap between what we should and what we want to do. Until the should and the want are joined, we leave an open space for guilt.
When we act according to how we feel we should, we will feel guilt for not doing what we want. While we act according to what we want, we will feel guilt for not doing what we should.
When guilt warns us that there is something to check and correct within us and we are willing to see it, have a dialogue with the self and clarify, we are on the right path. Sometimes guilt acts as an excuse for us to apologize without really taking on the responsibility for what happened; we pass on the responsibility to the established norms, norms that in this case we haven't accepted as our own. In any case, the solution to guilt is to take on self-responsibility.
There is a difference between when we have established our own code of values or beliefs in life, and when we feel obliged (forced) to obey an imposed code of beliefs. It is important for us to accept on an inner level the code by which we think we should be guided and act. When we act out of obligation (compulsion), by following a code of beliefs or behaviors that we feel have been imposed but aren't accepted as our own, we should ask ourselves why we act out of obligation (compulsion), basing ourselves on a code we have not accepted. Are we perhaps afraid that, if we don't do it, we will feel guilty?
When we violate the codes of belonging to a group, family, social class or community, generally we feel guilty. If this guilt leads us to question ourselves about what is right for our conscience, we progress in our personal growth and improve our clarity. It is necessary to respect ourselves, being clear about what the beliefs are on which we base our life, think, feel and evaluate. This will help us to avoid the gap between what we should and what we want to do. Until the should and the want are joined, we leave an open space for guilt.
When we act according to how we feel we should, we will feel guilt for not doing what we want. While we act according to what we want, we will feel guilt for not doing what we should.
When guilt warns us that there is something to check and correct within us and we are willing to see it, have a dialogue with the self and clarify, we are on the right path. Sometimes guilt acts as an excuse for us to apologize without really taking on the responsibility for what happened; we pass on the responsibility to the established norms, norms that in this case we haven't accepted as our own. In any case, the solution to guilt is to take on self-responsibility.
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